On Top of the World

Well behaved women rarely make history.

Ongoing discussion.

In response to his response (excerpts below).

…you don’t have the right to actions without consequences. Men don’t have that either. And you don’t have the right to make choices without being judged for them. Men don’t have that right either.

First and foremost and for the record: I love consequences. I am all about consequences. In life and in fiction.

Again, all of that is not unique to girls. Boys have half their worth tied into their social status, sometimes just how tall they are, whether or not you have your own car(16), and we absolutely CANNOT do anything that would be considered unmasculine, lest we be shunned by both our male AND female peers. So, not to be sarcastic, but cry me a river.

I wrote a research paper about teen boys and the pressures that are put on them by society. I was meaning to highlight what it feels like for a girl (to quote Madonna). It is, as I started my post with, not about who has it harder, or who deals with it better — it’s not us versus them. It is your choice to accept your treatment by society or not; I choose to speak up about it.

I’m not a girl, so I can’t relate. What I do know is that if as a man, you get your ass kicked by a girl, IT’S NOT THE SAME. And, that world that you want to live in would be nice if all males got equal treatment irrespective of the size of their wallets. But I guess there’s no equality for men, hmmm? Find me a rich man with an ugly wife and we’ll be having a conversation. Girls do matter. But women are not the same as men. I’ve yet to understand why people fight this. Masculinity and femininity are both valued, but they are not the same commodity.

I said it was not the same and that I, at least, do not want it to BE the same. I want R-E-S-P-E-C-T (to quote Aretha). Your point seems to be that because inequality exists for everyone inequality is okay. My point is that inequality isn’t fair for anyone. Yes, you are correct that it is unrealistic to want all people to be judged equally. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t want it.

Females should carry a device that looks like a stoplight, to let men know when they do want to be looked at sexually, and when they don’t. Because whenever you get good and damn ready to get some attention, and your daughter will do this too, the boobs come out, the make up and perfume get on, and the switch gets in the hips. I wonder why. So you have to let us men know when you WANT to be sexual and when you don’t. You also have to stop complaining when we are attracted to women that can match OUR desires.

First, you may make any assumptions you like about me and my boobs but it is highly inappropriate for you to assume it of my 14 year old daughter. Second, I will direct you to my post here about how women do actually dress up for themselves because it is fun. Third, I am not complaining about your attraction to hot women. Sexy = / = Hyper-sexualized. Of course women sometimes dress sexy to be treated as sexy by men. And they get all come hither. I love fashion and I love thinking about and discussing how it transforms people and their audience’s expectations. But do you honestly think the only attention these sexy women want is for how sexy they are? I don’t expect or want anyone to stop finding women, or men, attractive. I only want you to stop saying that what a woman wears or how she wears it should be determined by YOUR DESIRES.

Then, give me some clear examples of what it should look and be like so I’m crystal clear as to what you’re saying. Oh, and guys probably won’t buy it, by the way.

Olivia Dunham in Fringe
Rose Tyler in Dr. Who
Kathryn Janeway in Star Trek: Voyager
Kara Thrace in Battlestar Galactica
Elizabeth Swann in Pirates of the Caribbean
Pepper Potts in Iron Man
Carol Danvers in Ms. Marvel
Karen Starr in Power Girl

All these women sometimes dress and act sexy. All these women also sometimes beat up and get the better of men. They can be stubborn and they can be insecure, they are judged and they judge. They are characters some men love and some men hate and some men have no opinion on; they are characters some women love and some women hate and some women have no opinion on. They are characters I, as a woman, and self-proclaimed feminist, count as favourites and can identify with. And they are characters that I’ve seen at the top of fanboys’ fantasy lists.



  stuclach wrote @

My wife can beat me at Basketball (and most other sports). She is a phenomenal athlete. I’m fairly certain that she is also smarter than me.

From what I gather, feminism has very little to do with how I feel about what she does (is her athletic ability sexy, etc) and everything to do with how she feels about herself and her having the opportunity to do those things/express herself.

My wife is happy that she had the opportunity to play sports, learn, and express her creativity. She is also happy that she got a sexy new hair cut this week. She doesn’t let my opinion of those things (I don’t like her bangs) affect her.

I think Power Girl is a fantastic comic book character (during her recent solo run), because she has fun. Her breasts have nothing to do with her actions (except when they can be utilized in a humorous fashion.) This book could just as easily feature Superman as the lead character and be just as much fun.

I don’t know if I’m a feminist (can a dude be a feminist?), but (assuming I understand the term correctly) I am all for feminism.

Sincerely (and possibly incoherently),

  thehumanscorch wrote @

-If you say you’re all about the consequences, then I have no choice but to accept that that’s how you feel.
-I understand that you’re speaking up. But these kinds of conversations always end up in gross generalizations.
-As for your examples of females that get it right, okay.

  thehumanscorch wrote @

Oh, also, I wanted to let you know that I believe I understand what it is/was that you’re trying to communicate.

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